What Is Love, Anyway?
So what is love, anyway? People have been trying to sing and write, describe, and define the enigma that is love. It's obviously something that occurs between humans, often one human and another human. But we can also love animals and I'm sure animals can feel something like love for us, too. Love comes inherently. It cannot be bought or sold. Not to be confused with acts like sex being sold, that is not love. It is not a physical thing we can see or hold, but rather a feeling inside of us, something that is apart of us in a sensory way. It doesn't mind where you've been or where you're going. It doesn't ask you what your needs or desires are. That's often been my issue with love. It doesn't work off logic, otherwise we would all be with suitable partners all of the time, but that isn't the way love works is it? It works off of a spark that is ignited between two people, one day or over a series of days, and then it's just there - it's indescribable to say the least. It happens when we least expect it - one day it comes along and you experience this force of nature, love.
Love is it's own law. It plays by it's own rules, it doesn't care much for what you do or do not want personally. It just happens, you cannot take it away from someone or give it back to them if you don't also feel it. When love happens between two individuals simultaneously really magical things do take place. You get that flutter in your stomach, the gentle dizziness in your head when you see they've called or messaged you. You feel hopeful, inspired, and more alive knowing that you are falling in love. Nothing can get you down, nothing can stop you. It's one hell of a drug, as we all know.
But love isn't always reciprocated. You can feel love for someone and unfortunately they don't have to feel it back. Like I said earlier, love plays by it's own rules, much like cancer does. It can infect and disrupt someone's life the same as it can heal and inspire someone else's life. When you feel love and the other person doesn't, love can turn into something dark for a time. They say love conquers all, but a love not given in return can be devastating to the individual. Perhaps love itself doesn't mean to make us feel so awful at different times in our lives, maybe it's more of the obstacles that stand in the way of it that are detrimental to our human existences.
Choose love they say. Believe in love. Love will win - and maybe in the grand scheme it does. But sometimes love destroys you. Sometimes love leaves you devastated and broken. But I believe this is the plan of love. You see, more than anything love is meant to teach us something. Teach us that it will come and it will go with other individuals in our lives, and no matter how hard you try to hold onto it sometimes love isn't enough to stay with someone. You have to internally have love to give and receive it in it's purest form. Loving yourself becomes the most important lesson of love. You are all you will ever have. In learning to love yourself you learn to forgive, heal, and believe in yourself - and others, too.
Truth is, love isn't meant to be defined. It exists because it's a force, and it will continue to exist whether our attempts to define or contain it work or not. It's just this thing we are so very fortunate to experience, and any chance you get to experience it, take it. Be wrapped up in every moment of it. Say it, mean it, and show it with all of your being. Love will fuck us up sometimes, revel in those moments as well. Be reminded you're alive whether you're in the moments of extreme bliss or in our darkest hours, and know that love got you there.
I don't know what love is, maybe just a chemical reaction at the end of the day. But I've been lucky enough to have so much of it in my life. I've accepted my losses, my gains, and I've chosen to put my love for myself first and foremost - not in a selfish way, but that is how I become the best version of myself. I have to be love so I can give the most love. And although my heart isn't whole as it once was, it's evolved into what it is now, and the remains of my heart are for the daring souls who take it on for exactly what it is.