But Which Direction is Forward?



Some days you wake up and nothing is ever the same again. Life is beckoning for me to make major life changes, but why? To my knowledge I finally made it to the place I always wanted to be... or so I thought.

There are these moments in life when you're unsure of what your next step should be - you're sure steps need to be made but which direction is forward? Maybe for a series of years things happened like clockwork - you found a routine and one that worked well for you. But all of a sudden one day the routine isn't fulfilling you anymore. Something is pulling at you to embark on a new journey elsewhere. Something is telling you to start all over again, it's time to find discomfort again, and it irritates the shit out of you in an endearing way because you finally thought you had it figured out - but alas, maybe you didn't, and these moments in life are the most excellent.

I'm established. I finally created the life for myself I personally consider 'having it made.' I travel frequently, I own my own business where I make a great wage for a single, kidless chick, I've surrounded myself with only amazing people, and I couldn't ask for a better living arrangement. I've been waiting for this place in life for what seems like forever. After a series of unsteady roommates, including a devastating failed relationship, moving once - twice per year for the last decade, and leaving a job I was at for six years to obtain a personal freedom I didn't know possible, I finally have peace in most area's of my life. It's the place that seemed out of reach, but when I look at it again more closely and with more gratitude I realize this is it - this is where I've been wanting to be. All the years of struggle, hard work,  and dedication have paid off. Sure, I still create my own stress and nothing is ever perfect, there could always be more money than there is, but to my own standards, I've made it.

"What you are seeking is seeking you." - Rumi

So why in the hell is something telling me to give all of this up to start all over again? And how did Rumi know that taking a sentence and ending it backwards from what it originally said would so perfectly describe life? There is this part of me that wants to hold onto this life I have for dear life. But now there is a bossier, more arrogant side of me saying, nah, it's time to move camp. Maybe there is a storm heading for me, and maybe that storm is the beginning of a series of unfortunate events that ensue from a life not being lived to it's fullest potential. Maybe there is this piece of me that knows I'm destined for more, and there is no more time to wait, the time is now. Well, really soon.

I'm not a religious person, on some days you could say I'm spiritual, depends how much I drank the night before and if I made it to my a.m. yoga class, but sometimes you know when something beyond you is wanting you to take a chance on change. And that's just it. It's the same thing that told me to go to Europe alone nearly two years ago. It's the same thing that told me to get out of that relationship with the man who was keeping me from fulfilling my potential and chasing my dreams - the dreams to travel the world with or without anyone else. It's the same thing telling me now that it's time to move away because what is awaiting me isn't going to find me here.

Don't ignore what you can't explain.

You start noticing signs. You start hearing words all around you that point to yes. People start telling you stories that sound like they were stolen from your own mind to convince you of something you've been trying to convince yourself of. Suddenly, with an open mind and a brave heart you start listening. You start to realize that this isn't all just a coincidence, it's fate, it's the universe conspiring - it's whatever you believe it is and you know it's time to react.

So you do. You look into what is needed to transfer your cosmetology license to NYC. You start looking at extended training programs for hair in London. You start a side blog you've been wanting to do with a voice you've been afraid to release to the world. You start really saving your money and believing you're going to magically fall into more because life is coming for you, and it's taking you with it whether you're ready or not. You wake up with gratitude each and every day because you're just so happy that life called to you, that you were present, and now you're ready to answer.